The art of not making plans

Aging is such a weird thing.

I’m sitting in a cafe in the big city and could have called so many people to catch up. A few years ago, I would have tried to stuff in as many visits as I could - leaving myself exhausted and likely a little sweaty as a power walked from place to place.

Now I sit languishing with my London Fog in my hand, alone. And so happy about it.

Being bored is an art that I’ve forgotten to practice.

Taking deep breaths and sipping my warm tea, I listen to the music in the background.

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone. I remember dancing to that in my final year of ‘competitive dance’. Being a little bored means my mind can wander into the feelings I had at the time, my friends and how my body felt. I remember the periwinkle colour of my costume and that it was a little itchy because of the sparkles. And D’Angelo’s voice when he sings Ain’t No Sunshine. Oouuuufff. But I danced to Bill.

I hear russian being spoken behind me. And I remember when i studied a little of it. Now… I can only remember how to say, ‘This is a cat’.

My eyes wander to the man in his 50s who is nervously awaiting a date. I’m sure of it. He’s so flustered and then… he sees her and they both light up like sunshine and take a seat while smiling.

Authentic smiles. That’s what life might be about. They key to it all. Genuine moments of pleasure. Like seeing someone who makes you feel butterflies. Your first sip of coffee. A tiny humans’ belly laugh… any belly laugh, really.

Outside the coffee shop, there are so many people in suits, so much traffic and bustle. A sea of navy, grey and black. Backpacks on. Phone in hand and head down while everyone barely avoids colliding into one another. They didn’t see the bird that is so happily feasting on the sidewalk crumbs or the little girl in her stroller who is confidently naming all the things she sees - pointing with exuberance to her proud, tired mama. It reminds to take that breath again and relax into the small pleasures that make life worth living. The little things that you only notice when your brain is calm enough to relax and you are satisfied being in your own company.